Breathe

Hold my breath
In. Pause. Out.
I never could for long.
My head under water,
Chest aching,
blood rushing strong.

Kick my feet,
Toss my hands,
Thrash around my head.
Try to stay afloat
with marble arms
and legs of lead.

Panic swallows me,
like the tide that
grasps me close.
It pulls me to
the bottom where
the dead lie comatose.

A calm invades.
It fills the ear,
evacuates all thought.
I reach the bottom,
a sudden still,
for all that I have fought.

The waves listen to
no one, but the
sand down here is soft.
Much softer than
the wind which tried
to keep my heart aloft.

The surface is
light years away
yet close enough to clasp.
My fingers reach
to graze the sun,
to hold it in my grasp.

I close my eyes
yet still can see
The glowing of the star.
It taunts me
as it hovers close,
yet stands one breath too far.